In Search of Freedom – Finding what will hopefully be our forever home

freedom

In Search of Freedom

Mother’s day weekend, the husband and I hopped a plane, 2 planes with a layover due to the Corona Pandemic, down South to look for what will hopefully be our forever home.  We’ve never left our children before overnight, let alone left our kids in the middle of a pandemic.  But the clock is ticking, my stress has boiled over and my drive to get out of NY is stronger now more than ever.  We lost our religious exemptions almost one year ago and it’s been a nonstop battle ever since.  Click here to read that story.    

New York is a shit show right now and I fear for our current situation and the “reimagining” of New York.  I’m devastated to leave all of our family and friends behind and my heart hurts to think about what their lives may look like in a few months, but I could not be more over anything than I am of New York right now.  

Heading down south, we had one agenda and one agenda only, to leave there with an offer on what we hope to be our forever home.  We thought the house we’re in now was our forever home but it didn’t happen that way.  #Godsplan 

So we left our kids in the middle of a pandemic to go find our future home.  The pressure was on.  After hyperventilating on the airplane during take off, I got myself a cup of ice from the flight attendant and poured myself a glass of Jack Daniels Honey from the stash of mini bottles I had in my travel bag.  Don’t judge, flying ain’t my thing.  The entire year prior flashed before my eyes and I felt an overwhelming feeling of how the fuck did we get here?  We lost our religious exemptions on June 13, 2019, then my kids were kicked out of school, I started homeschooling, we decided to move out of New York (that story here), we put our house on the market and then we got hit with a Pandemic.  Now we’re on our way to find what will hopefully be our forever home in our future home state.  The craziness of it all is just too much for words.  

 

I was on my way to go find our perfect home, hopefully

I was on my way to go and hopefully find the perfect home for my family.  The tween who requires peace and privacy, the spirited one who needs space to be creative and messy, the boy who needs space for his toys and electronics and the baby of the bunch who needs space that promotes growth, creativity and development.  There’s also the hubby whom I’m probably most concerned about.  I needed to find a home that is special for everyone in its own way and one that everyone will love and we had one day to do it. 

The pressure was on and I was feeling it.  By the time we landed and hopped on the second plane to reach our final destination, I was a nervous wreck.  A couple of panic attacks and Jack Daniels’ later we reached our soon to be new home state.   We arrived at our hotel late night only to find out that they weren’t accepting visitors from New York.  Information that would have been valuable to us prior to booking our stay, but after letting the night shift worker know my thoughts on the topic, we left and found an even nicer hotel right next door that was more than happy to take us, Corona cooties and all.    

As exhausted and stressed as I was from our travels, If I slept three hours that night it was a lot.  My family’s entire future was riding on the decision we are going to make the following day and I was scared shitless.  The next morning, I woke up from my cat nap to palm trees and shining sun.  I had a long talk with God, got myself a large cup of Starbucks coffee and we were on our way to finding our future home.

We visited 7 houses all of which I knew inside and out from obsessively viewing on Zillow.  Some of the houses surprised me in that they were better than pictured and others that I thought I would love, I was disappointed.  There were two houses that fit our criteria and we knew we were going to put an offer on one of them prior to our visit, so I was praying that they lived up to my expectations.  My first choice pick that I thought was perfect for us, I was a little disappointed with.  The pictures definitely made it look better than it was.  Still a gorgeous house but not quite as I expected.  My second choice pick was better than I could have ever expected.  It had everything we wanted and needed and I felt positive energy and good vibes as soon as I walked through the front door.  The house was filled with all my favorite, uplifting sayings, quotes and prayers.  

A few hours later we had an accepted offer on what will hopefully be our forever home.  We went to celebrate at our favorite restaurant we ate at when we went with the kids to search the area a few months back.  We sat outside and ordered from a menu that was filled with all natural, local food items knowing that this was going to be our go-to place we bring our New York family and friends when they come to visit.  Hopefully they come to visit.    

What a different feel than NY.  You could almost feel the freedom and peace in the air.  Even in the middle of a pandemic.  This was going to be our new home state and I felt good about the decision we made.  In my heart of hearts I knew that we were going to have a good life here.  Call it gut instinct or mother’s intuition, but I could just feel it in my bones.  I’ve always had this gut instinct and it hasn’t let me down yet.  This was the right move.  I couldn’t wait to get back to NY so we can start taking the necessary steps to get back here and start our new lives.  

 

Back to Reality to start planning our future

Flying home sucked as I knew it would.  I get massive anxiety during take off and landing, and any sign of turbulence in between.  Again we had another connecting flight because of the pandemic, flights were on an alternative schedule and again I was nipping my little bottles of JD.  I felt really emotional going home.  Thinking about all the things we will be leaving behind and how it may affect my kids got me feeling all sorts of emotions.  This will probably be the last time we land in NY where it won’t be our home state.  When we finally landed and got to our car to get ready to go back to our home which won’t be our home for much longer, I broke down.  I sat there and cried all the tears that I have been holding back and probably even suppressing over the past year.  It all came out and I couldn’t stop it.    

This entire experience has been for lack of better words, a mind fuck.  I’m anxious and excited to start living a life where we have religious and medical freedom and my kids can go to school regardless of our vaccination status.  My boy that was thrown out of school and missed out on an entire 2nd grade experience, gets to go back to school where he belongs.  This thought makes my heart skip a beat and brings tears of joy to my eyes.  The bonus to that is people will not know our vaccine views which is exactly the way I like it.  At the same time, we are leaving the only life we have ever known…, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends will not be a part of our everyday lives.  My kids won’t have birthday celebrations with their family.  I host Christmas Eve every year for a family of 30 plus people.  I don’t know what Christmas Eve’s will look like in the future and it makes me really sad.  We have big New year’s eve celebrations and 4th of July parties at our house for our NY peeps.  The chances of getting everyone at the same time to come visit us to continue the tradition is near impossible.  We are changing the entire family dynamic and it sucks.  These are the things I have no control over and I know we will figure out and create a new normal but until then, it weighs heavy on me.

I know what we are doing is the right move for our family and most definitely the right move for my mental sanity.  Living in New York and all of its corruption is no good for me.  I need peace.   

To be continued…  

In the meantime stay healthy and stay positive.  

 

About Me

About Me

Hi there!  I'm Danielle, mom blogger, visionary and dreamer.

I'm on a mission to help moms create a Simply Pure life of Joy + Balance + Optimal Health & Wellness for ourselves and our families.

My goal is to un-complicate life and provide moms with the tools and strategies to make informed decisions so you can live your best mom life.  .

Read more about the girl behind the blog here

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